Quote

Tomorrow is the last night
till our love becomes an ellipses.
Me, leaving. You, going — the
distance between us stretching
across state lines that for me
hold oceans between them.

Please. I press my lips against your skin
like a plea. Your fingers between mine
are prayers that I’ve been trying to find the
words for since the first time I woke up
from a dream about angels to see you
looking at me with the sky
in your eyes.

The worst part about being human is having
a heart so susceptible to metaphors.

Your lips are tulips in the vase of my throat.
You photosynthesize and my blood is made of chlorophyll.

I can’t differentiate between your pulse and mine
and I want to tell you that
All my poems sound like sighs since I’ve met you,
but you’re painting my neck the color of your breath
and I’m so distracted, thinking of you and your lashes
that furl and unfurl just for me, tonight.

You are the summer of the seven-year locusts.
You are so much that it’s breaking my heart.

I read you the first page of a novel by Nathacha Appanah
but I’m terrible at words so you kiss them away.

The night yawns and wraps its arms
around us both. You hold me closer and I want to
cry.

I write what I have never told you slowly on your skin.

Do you know how it hurts to touch you
knowing that in the morning I’ll still wake up alone?

Tomorrow is the last night
till our love becomes an ellipses.
I don’t want to think of all those suns
that will rise without you.

“I Love You,” Shinji Moon (via commovente)

Woah

I don’t really know what to do right now…I’m caught in this weird limbo place between being heartbroken, being furious at myself, and being hopeful that this will all work out.  Spending time apart is something that normal couples do all the time, so why is it so hard to do in my case? We aren’t any less in love if we aren’t together all the time.  

I’m really just worried that I’m falling into my usual trap of being so attached to someone, be it a friend or a romance, that I lose myself a little bit.  I depend on them being there so much to make me interesting and to keep me out of my own head that when they’re not around, I’m kind of just this shell who doesn’t do anything except sit and do nothing, stewing in my own thoughts.  I’ve thought about this and the fact that I’m so opposed to being alone…pretty much ever…a lot recently.  It’s harmful to a relationship if you’re together all the time, but it’s even harder on yourself as a person.  Right now, I kind of don’t know what to do with myself because he’s not here with me.

I know this doesn’t mean the end of the relationship.  I know I have to sort a fair few things out before we can really be okay.  I know that spending a little more time apart will make us appreciate being together all the more.  But this just really sucks right now.  And the suckiest part of it is that I prompted this whole thing by not dealing with my stress in the right way.  He doesn’t deserve what I’ve been doing to him.  Not even a little bit.

Ugh.

Stormy weather coming through.  Clouds weigh heavy on the blue.  Smell the grasses vibrantly.  As they pass their breath to me.  Something wicked’s come to call.  Summer dies becoming fall.  Pull the blankets up so tight.  Hide from causing one more fight.  Can’t find words to say to you.  Without them becoming true.  Birds fly south to flee the cold.  Youthful eyes now open old.